各位童鞋大家好~
長假讓大家練練筆寫一篇和課文相關的作文（三選一），這里收到不少同學的佳作，拿出來與大家一起分享，一起學習哦！
篇幅較多，分批上哈~ 這里是第二趴啦~！
第33課 “連鎖反應”篇，第35課“伸張正義”篇請看上一篇日志：http://blog.onlycollege.com.cn/78345/viewspace-24934
還木有交給我的同學抓緊啦~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
※ L33 P156 describe a similar “chain of reactions”
By Jia Jianhao
One day a man loaded with parcels (想到這個詞組非常好，表達的是一個人拎著大包小包) went out and he was looking for his car. He forgot where he had parked his car, and suddenly he saw one exacting like it. (看到幾乎同一輛車的表達 exactly like/the same as his own) But in fact, he mistook it for his own and his car was the one beside it.
He found his key with difficulty (用with + n. 結構表示狀態) and tried to open the door, as this car wasn’t his, the key wouldn’t turn. He felt so anxious that he forced the lock and broke the key. (結果狀語從句引出結局) But, at the same time, the parcels were dropped. This infuriated (想想能否用熟知的詞表示呢？比如irritate, ) him and he deliberately (能反映he的心態~) broke the window of the car. Unfortunately, the owner saw him and rushed towards him. He called a policeman.
He tried to explain but he was not believed and the man was arrested. (最后兩句中he的指代要清楚些哦，可以用一些詞組引出結局使得文章邏輯更強，如in the end/ at last.)
文章描寫了一個男子將他人車誤認為自己的，想開車門卻未成功，最后索性惡作劇一把的故事。描述很到位，除動詞外，一些能反映男子性格的修飾詞（如副詞，介詞詞組）為句子增加亮點。句式也有變化（如賓從，結果狀從）�？梢赃M一步推敲某些詞的搭配，讓文章更精致~
By Zhang Jiacheng
A pity man
There was a man who wanted to take some parcels to his office. And he was going to load (好詞) them in his small blue car. He went outside his house and saw a car exactly like his. Unfortunately, (小詞也能成為亮點) he mistook it for his own. He found his key with difficulty for there was a parcel in his hand. A few minutes later, he began to triedtry to open the door. However, the key didn’t work. So the man infuriately broke the key and dropped the parcels to the ground. Suddenly, he saw a stone on the ground. He picked up it (pick it up 如果是代詞要放在介詞前) and threw it to the windows. The windows were broken into pieces.
As soon as he did this, the car’s owner saw him and rushed towards him. (as soon as 起到了承接的效果，很好) The owner shouted to him:“It’s my car. Why did you destroy it!?” He immediately called the police and the man was arrested.
At the police station, the man tried to explain that he had made a mistake and he was innocent. But the cruel fact is that no one in the police station believed him. At last, the man had to stay in the prison for two weeks. What a pity man!
給文章起的題目是a pity man (a poor man)， 內容也的確詳盡地描繪了這么個可憐人如何百口莫辯被送進監獄。在恰當運用提示詞的同時，還能補充合理的體現邏輯和句子間關系的詞，這點希望保持！篇尾做到了點題。
By Qian Xinzhou
Let us suppose that (舉例，學以致用！) a man loaded with parcels was looking for his car. He put the parcels on the ground when another man did the same thing just next to him. When he saw one exactly like his car, he hurried towards it, mistaking the man’s parcel for his own. (分詞結構用得到位)
When he arrived at home, he found his key with difficulty. Trying to open the door, but he found that the key wouldn’t open. (前后兩句意義轉折不妨這樣表達：Hard as he tried to open the door, he found that … ) While he forced the lock, he broke the key dropping the parcels on his feet. This led (drove更好些，類似drive sb. mad/crazy結構) him infuriated. He deliberately broke the window of a car. Meanwhile the owner saw him and rushed towards him. This led to an angry argument. (L33句子，好~) The owner called the police.
The man was arrested, he tried to explain all of these. However, he was not believed.
第一，二兩段通過豐富的句式將整個故事清晰地表述出來。能把課文中比較實用的知識運用到自己的寫作中，熟能生巧。是個好方法！大膽嘗試課文中出現較多的分詞結構，讓文章層次更豐富。最后一句話和前文相比似乎顯得有些簡單。希望能再擴充些~
By Jin Xiangru
One day a man went out from a supermarket, loadinged with heavy parcels.
There were so many cars in the parking lot that it is most difficult (most=very小詞取勝) for him to find his car. After looking for his car for a few minutes, he finally saw one exactly like it and mistook it for his own. He found his key with difficulty and tried to open the door.
But unfortunately the key couldn't turn, so he forced the lock harder. As a result, the key was severely broken. It made heim infuriate so that he dropped the parcels and deliberately broke the window of the car. As if this were not enough to reduce the man to tears, (引出最糟糕的情況，贊！) the owner of the car saw him and couldn't wait to rush towards him with strong anger. And what is more, the owner called a policeman. The man was arrested somehow,(somehow一詞很妙) he tried to explain.
However, no one believed him.
文章完整，內容充實，尤其是一些看似可有可無的詞實則能為句子起到錦上添花的作用。課文里出現的精彩句子也能學以致用慢慢變成自己的。保持這個好習慣哦！最后收尾有點倉促，可以接著寫一兩句主人公的心理狀態~
